I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
