This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize