By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
