Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think my moral compass just broke
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
