Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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