I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
