Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
