My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
ok first of all what the fuck
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
