How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
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Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
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I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed