dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
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I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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