you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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