so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
