TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
