I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
