That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
