I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
im on a boat
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