No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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