remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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