yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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