I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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