On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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