This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
