You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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