I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize