One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
A+ Viking dick
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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