I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
