I think my fart just growled at me.
only if we run a train.
done.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
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He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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