thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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