i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
