well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
