I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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