No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
