theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize