as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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