some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Green mimosas i think yes
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
