I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
