I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
