i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
