Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
