We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
