If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
