she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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