Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
