The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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