What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
