Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
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You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
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What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.