There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
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Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit