i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
