yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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