You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
