You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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