College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
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yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
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This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
not ubering you a puppy
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize