Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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