i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
