Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
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Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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