All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
