the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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