I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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