I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he shaved USA in his pubs
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
