Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we made out on top of his cat.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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