No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
