What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
