I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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