last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
