the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
