Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
