Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize