You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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