3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
