i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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