I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
