and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
What a dumb baby whore.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
